Every once in a while, albeit, not very often, I hear or see something that leaves me speechless. “Danny & Annie” is that something. I thank Troy from the Chicago Center on Halsted for introducing me to this five-minute video, which I will never forget and wish to share with you.
This video comes from Story Corps founded by Dave Isay, (the recipient of the 2015 TED Prize) in October of 2003. It’s mission is to:
…preserve and share humanity’s stories in order to build connections between people and create a more just and compassionate world.
In a 2015 survey of 600 National Public Radio (NPR) listeners, 88% reported that they were better able to understand people with different backgrounds, and 96% reported they were better able to understand people with disabilities or serious illness.
To find out how you can get involved telling your story or interviewing a friend or family member click here. Thank you Dave Isay and all of your membership as well as your donors and storytellers for bringing the world a much-needed tool for creating understanding.
Everyday I hear about someone or something being abandoned, dogs, cats, churches, refugees, yes, and even children. Is there any worse feeling than that of being abandoned? I don’t think so, at least not for me.
In Theaster Gates, March 2015 TED Talk above, you’ll hear a plan for making something out of close to nothing, of taking what others have abandoned and bringing it back to life. Many people are doing this today, but Gates adds one very important element, that of involving the people already living in that neighborhood, awakening in them hope.
James Martin, S.J. editor at large of America Magazine in his February 15 article titled My God, My God, tells of Jesus who took the raw materials of his time and place forming them into a literally history changing moment. Then on the cross, he cries, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani” My God, My God, why have you abandoned me (MK 15:33-34) Fr. Martin explains that while many think this was actually a prayer of hope and trust in the Father, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to think that Jesus truly did feel abandoned, just as we do at times. It’s this understanding of Jesus that draws me to him.
So what to do when we feel abandoned? We could:
Follow Theaster Gates method of working were we find ourselves with the people and resources we find at our disposal.
Learn to see with the eyes of Faith, albeit not an easy choice.
For myself, I don’t believe I’ve learned any more important skill in my 70 plus years than that of being able to tell my story, a story that is filled with challenges as well as successes (crosses and resurrections in Christian terms). Before I learned that skill, I was isolated and afraid, although if you asked me then, I would have sincerely denied any such a state. I needed to take the risky step of sharing my story in order to learn that truth.
Elyn Saks has shared her story, a terrifyingly horrendous struggle with schizophrenia. You may very well have seen it. Her June 2012 TED talk has generated almost five million views. Wow! As I listen to her tell her story, I can’t help but identify with her fears of being different, of being shunned and marginalized. I marvel at her willingness and ability to tell her story and wonder at how she has not only survived but also become extremely successful in the eyes of most of us. She credits that to her many close friends, family and great doctors.
Most of us I suppose will never get the opportunity to tell our story at TED. Most of us I further suspect, wouldn’t want to, but there are other ways. Khaldiya, a 17 year old refugee living in Jordon tells her story through film, a skill she learned as a child in Syria. Her video is featured in the New York Times Op-Docs January 27, 2016 Another Kind of Girl. Through no fault of her own, she finds herself living as a refugee in a strange land (her cross). Her ability to accept her situation in combination with her learned video skills lead to a positive life (resurrection) where I believe many of us would find resentment, futility and yes death.
Three simple actions to help in choosing life:
Seek opportunities to tell your story and then risk doing it.
Listen to others tell their story and see how you are the same.
Surround yourself with family and friends by being a good friend.
The Celtic Cross depicts my favorite representation of the Jesus story. Catholics prefer the cross with the body of Jesus Christ hanging on it, while Protestants prefer a plain cross with no corpus. The cross with the corpus implies the idea of example. The plain cross suggests there is room for you to see yourself there.
The Celtic Cross has many images on its face implying we all have a cross we are burdened with. At the intersection where the beams meet in the center is the circle of life that surrounds and intersects the cross members. This suggests to me that life’s embrace of my cross is at the center of my life, and is essential to my salvation story.
How are humans different from chimpanzees? Are stories really important? Do you know the most successful story ever told? What story will answer the biggest question of the 21st. Century? What is the biggest question of the 21st. Century. Yuval Noah Harari suggests some answers to these questions and more in this fascinating TED Talk.
I think these are important questions for Passionist Partners. We’ve always known the importance of story and for many years people have listened to the story of the cross and have found hope. Does that story have relevance for 21st century peoples? Millennials (18 to 30 year olds) will be living the majority of their lives in this century. Are they listening to the story of the cross? Does the story need to be tweaked?
The cross can happen even in the life of a child younger than three years old. If you doubt that, then I dare you to watch Noy Thrupkaew’s TED selection for today’s post. I think it might change your mind. As I listened to Noy’s presentation I recalled reading Harville Hendricks who postulates in his Imago Therapy that we spend a great deal of our life grappling with our childhood issues. We even choose our friends and intimate partners based upon this inner drive.
Noy discovered this in her life when she ended up in therapy. What she did with this realization is the story of the cross and resurrection today. Yes, as she says, it’s messy and unfinished. More importantly, she’s begun the task we all have of transforming our lives, and by doing this transforming the lives of all those around us.
In his Encyclical Laudato Si, Pope Francis recounts the life of Saint Benedict, the father of Western Monasticism, who eventually summed up his Rule of Life in two words, Ora et Labora (pray and work). Reflecting on Noy’s talk as well as my own work experience, I think maybe the problem with our 21st Century American way of life is we’ve entirely left our the first of these, prayer, and completely vilified the second, work. I think we could all benefit by prioritizing the prayer and work in our lives. I love what Pope Francis says regarding work:
Work should be the setting for this rich personal growth, where many aspects of life enter into play: creativity, planning for the future, developing our talents, living out our values, relating to others, giving glory to God.
(Francis, Pope [2015-06-22]. ENCYCLICAL LETTER LAUDATO SI’: On care for our common home: Green encyclical on the environment. [Kindle Locations 958-959]. . Kindle Edition.)”
Faith, I learned as a child is a theological virtue. To this day, I’m not so sure I know what that means. I do however know what Faith can do when I listen to people like Daniel Kish into today’s TED selection.
Daniel tells me that if I learn to live with the gifts (some might call them crosses) I’ve been given, I will experience the abundance of life, I will find resurrection. The dark unknown will no longer rule my life and Alleluia will truly be my song. Thanks for sharing Daniel.
What are we to think of this? No sin, no mercy. Does this mean sin is necessary for a display of mercy? Should there be no sin, then there would be no mercy? Surely I can show mercy without being provoked by sin!
Maybe not. Is not the Latin word for mercy, MISERICORDIA? And is not this Latin word a combination of the words “heart” (“cordia”) and “mercy” (“miseri”)? Misery of some kind or other, that is, a deplorable situation, is linked to the inner working of the heart moving it to mercy, its fundamental response mode. If there was no misery, or deplorable situation, then there could be no heart motion called mercy. There might be kindness, generosity, thoughtfulness, but there would be no room for mercy.
So, in a perfect world, with no lack of any kind, or deviation, or failure, or emptiness, or suffering, or mishap—there would then be a world without mercy. So what, one might respond? Why postulate something so undesirable, so unwanted, so foreboding, so painful as these things, just in order to have some occasion for mercy? It seems to me I can get along just fine without mercy if it means I can avoid all the unpleasant things that seem to make mercy possible. I can get along in a world without the pain, suffering, disappointment, lack, emptiness, coldness, cruelty, failure that make life here below so unpleasant and downright undesirable. Better no life at all than a life full of such negative experiences.
So then I wouldn’t have to worry over or fret about a baby about to be born with spina bifida or a cleft palate or blindness or deafness. I could then welcome a perfect baby into my life, and live happily ever after.
God apparently made a terrible mistake in setting up a world in which the possibility of multiple mishaps, misfortunes, mistakes and misadventures could occur. For these bring nothing but misery to us, and keep Him forever busy patching up all the mistakes that could have been avoided had He just carefully thought this whole situation through. After all, He is perfect, and mistakes are not characteristic of His handiwork.
BUT, that is true except for one striking factor. He would never be able to manifest His mercy to the world if everything worked out just perfect. After all, what kind of God would we be dealing with were He all powerful, all wise, all holy, all knowing, all beautiful, but not all merciful because no occasion was available for Him to show His mercy, lacking any need or opportunity for doing so?
What is the greatest deed God is capable of? Showing mercy. This is how God wants to be identified by us: as the merciful one (Neh9.31). He doesn’t want a series of perfect little creatures like ourselves coming forth from His creating hand and then going about our happy ways with no more need of Him than of the man in the moon. No, God wants to be needed, to be wanted, to be longed for, and to be loved, but there will be no needing, or wanting, or longing for, or loving if we were all doing quite well, thank you. It would be like bringing an infant into the world who displayed no need or expectation of us at all: a perfectly self-sufficient and completely out-fitted little creature who can well afford to do without us because he or she has no need of us.
But, as a matter of fact, we all have needs, plenty of them, and they cause us misery. And we cannot handle them by ourselves because they’re linked to our sins, which we cannot eradicate or root out of our lives. All of our miseries are related to ours sins, and, ultimately, the only recourse we have for our sins is the mercy of God. In fact, God is delighted that this is so, because, more than anything else, God wants to be appreciated by us as a merciful God: more so than as a wise God or strong God or eternal God or infinite God or beautiful God. He is perfectly content to be regarded as a merciful God. His most cherished claim to fame is His mercy, and it is our sinfulness that triggers His mercy.
So, the trademark of the Christian way of life is the crucifix, for there is no better sign of Who God is for us and what He stands for in our life than the mercy He displays on the cross. So we thank and praise God for our faults, our failures, our weaknesses, our inadequacies, our ineptness. In short, we are grateful for our inept humanness because nothing better calls to mind Who God is in His infinity. We and God make a perfect team, complementing one another: we are finite, He is infinite: a compatible formula for working together well.
Some people know by book-learning; others by experience. Can we compare them? Is one way better than the other? As a matter of fact, most of us know both ways, but, admittedly, some of us tend toward one more than the other.
There are those who first read the recipe book, and then prepare the meal. There are others who go straight into cooking the meal, experimenting as they go along. Which way makes the most impression on us, that is, a lasting impression? Do we better learn by “book learning”, as some describe it, or by just “doing it”?
We occasionally run into geniuses like Steve Jobs, who dropped out of college at an early stage, and strike out on their own, just as he did, and proceeded to score great success in the computer/electronic industry. There are others who are information collectors, like boys with baseball cards, hundreds of them, covering decades of great players on every team, and they can rattle off more information about a player than the rest of us.
To change an automobile tire, we can read all about it in a car’s manual stashed away in the glove compartment. Or we can go into our garage and do it ourselves, probably badly the first time or two, but gradually grow adept at it. Of course, the same would likely be true of learning about it by reading the manual.
Or we can read about the danger of boiling water, how badly it can burn us if it spills on our hand. And this can lead us to be careful. But we can also experience a burn first-hand, accidentally spilling the water while standing at the oven. Which is the better way of learning?
Experience can be likened to an art, like that of making friends. There was a well known book of several decades ago entitled: HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE, by Dale Carnegie . It was a reading approach to doing this. But, of course, there is also an experiential approach to the same task, that is, by just diving into a crowd of people at a party, introducing oneself and start talking.
A standard example of the difference in learning by book and learning by experience is swimming or riding a bicycle. Again, the experience of being thrown in the water or placed atop a bicycle seat and shoved off along the sidewalk differs considerably from learning about these ventures through instruction.
Then there is prayer. There are many books to read on how to pray. Scores of books have been written about HOW TO TALK TO GOD, OR CONVERSE AND COMMUNE WITH GOD. But there’s also the experiential approach of darting into the rear of a church and planting oneself in the presence of God. We recall the gospel story of the tax collector standing at a distance in the temple and asking God to have mercy on him, a sinner (Lk 18.9-14). We suspect this was an experience-based prayer.
Book learning takes place in the head. Experiential learning involves the whole body, almost like a chill running throughout one’s body. Forgetting is more likely to occur in the head than it is at the level of experience. Learning by experience to ride a bicycle, at a young age, surprisingly remains with a person for a long time, so that, even after thirty years of not riding a bike, one can do so again, without more ado.
We can read about the Jewish holocaust, and the skeleton-like humans found in the concentration camps at the end of WWII, and this makes a lasting impression. But the military, who first came on this scene at war’s end, experienced in a totally different way what the holocaust was like, knowing it by presence to it.
That is why so many veterans of war and military ventures are loathe to talk about it upon returning home. The experience of war has embedded itself into the sinews of their bodies in such a way that it’s basically non-communicable to those lacking that experience. Reading war episodes is fascinating, but cannot match personal presence to it.
Mothers relate to their children, especially infants, in this experiential way. They know, without being told by the baby, what is going on within the tiny confines of that body; they need not read Dr. Spock. Or similarly, there is the quality of compassion some people enjoy, whereby they can enter into the sufferings of another person and experience it as their own. They are not told of the suffering by the sufferer, but they know in a “feeling” fashion what another is going through. They experience it.
So we ask: how best do we learn: by head, or by experience?